Say Yes to Celibacy?
Yes I said say yes to celibacy for a few different reasons….
- If you are a teenager and have no idea what sex can create the positives and the challenges.
- If you are an adult and have gone through relationship trauma, in between break ups, surgery and other ailments.
- If you are in a monogamous committed relationship and you and your mate have decided on abstinence while away from one another.
Now Of course there may be other reasons why a person decides to refrain from sexual contact with other people…but these I have come across with talking to people.
Celibacy doesn’t have to be dreaded even though it can be a challenge due to our bodies secrete hormones that attract us to a mate and give us the drive to “Pro-Create”. Pheromones for instance are secreted from our bodies signaling our perfect mating partners. Testosterone in men and women raises the desire to want to have sex. Naturally for women during ovulation sexual desire is heightened telling the body it is time to find a mate and connect. Men I feel have these strong desires often as well stronger during when testosterone is in abundance than when its not. If Celibate time to learn and connect with thyself within masturbation, meditation or even yoga.. or great time to have a stronger bond with the Divine energy reading spiritual scriptures chanting and prayer.
*So disciplining our natural urges can be a challenge
As for my first feeling for celibacy people who unaware what sexual energy can create should go through a lesson of learning themselves and this I feel includes if not the most important learning their anatomy and Physiology. Getting a better innerstanding that what they are feeling is a natural part of who they are and how they were made. Then being taught the cause and effects of having sex physically and also learning the spiritual nature of connecting intimately with someone. After this we can go forward in telling them masturbation is not negative it is a way of learning what pleases us and teaches us how to connect and learn our bodies before anyone else shares their opinion on what they like and don’t like.
I could go on forever about celibacy and the very first interactions with who we are intimately, but lets go on to number two relationship traumas, break ups, and other times needed for healing. There are times in our lives when we have connected with others to a point where we are depleted and within this we have forgotten who we are and how to love ourselves. This can lead to negative situations in our life, and the best thing for us to do is get back to our own self intimacy. Celibacy so we can heal, so we can reconnect to who we truly are and so we can get back to being able to share our affections with others. In this place of healing, I feel we go through the same process the person who is just starting to learn themselves goes through but difference is we have to forgive ourselves and those that we may have assumed hurt us and that is another process. Self love and forgiveness is the goal here and I also feel self-exploration is a positive in this process. Getting to know and love the body all over again before moving on to sharing with someone else. (If you have a mate and need to heal Celibacy should be discussed and hopefully they nourish you during your healing process)
Last but of course not least because being away from a partner for a long period of time can be the most challenging of the three, but with this Celibacy can look a little different. Celibacy can be the same in getting to know yourself and connecting with self intimacy but with this, you can connect with your mate as well. Taking that built up energy and sending it to your love through phone conversations, letters and face to face time if able. So no need to be completely celibate even if it is limited time with your honey, because self-intimacy can turn into sending sensual energy to that other person and believe me the connection is real. Now this doesn’t mean that just because you have a mate to send love to that you don’t need self healing as well. I feel it is definitely is needed due to the sadness created from missing the other person loving self should be added to your to do list for sure. This will release some anger, anxiety and depression that you do not want to give to your mate during the short time that you do have to connect.
So yes…yes…yes this was an extensive but short description on what I feel about celibacy. If you need practices to get through these times maybe I can help. So don’t be down on yourself but get down to working on yourself.
Peace and Love