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Say yes to Celibacy?

Say Yes to Celibacy?

Yes I said say yes to celibacy for a few different reasons….


  1. If you are a teenager and have no idea what sex can create the positives and the challenges.
  2. If you are an adult and have gone through relationship trauma, in between break ups, surgery and other ailments.
  3. If you are in a monogamous committed relationship and you and your mate have decided on abstinence while away from one another.

Now Of course there may be other reasons why a person decides to refrain from sexual contact with other people…but these I have come across with talking to people.

Celibacy doesn’t have to be dreaded even though it can be a challenge due to our bodies secrete hormones that attract us to a mate and give us the drive to “Pro-Create”.  Pheromones for instance are secreted from our bodies signaling our perfect mating partners. Testosterone in men and women raises the desire to want to have sex. Naturally for women during ovulation sexual desire is heightened telling the body it is time to find a mate and connect. Men I feel have these strong desires often as well stronger during when testosterone is in abundance than when its not.  If Celibate time to learn and connect with thyself within masturbation, meditation or even yoga.. or great time to have a stronger bond with the Divine energy reading spiritual scriptures chanting and prayer.

*So disciplining our natural urges can be a challenge

As for my first feeling for celibacy people who unaware what sexual energy can create should go through a lesson of learning themselves and this I feel includes if not the most important learning their anatomy and Physiology. Getting a better innerstanding that what they are feeling is a natural part of who they are and how they were made. Then being taught the cause and effects of having sex physically and also learning the spiritual nature of connecting intimately with someone. After this we can go forward in telling them masturbation is not negative it is a way of learning what pleases us and teaches us how to connect and learn our bodies before anyone else shares their opinion on what they like and don’t like.

I could go on forever about celibacy and the very first interactions with who we are intimately, but lets go on to number two relationship traumas, break ups, and other times needed for healing.  There are times in our lives when we have connected with others to a point where we are depleted and within this we have forgotten who we are and how to love ourselves.  This can lead to negative situations in our life, and the best thing for us to do is get back to our own self intimacy. Celibacy so we can heal, so we can reconnect to who we truly are and so we can get back to being able to share our affections with others.  In this place of healing, I feel we go through the same process the person who is just starting to learn themselves goes through but difference is we have to forgive ourselves and those that we may have assumed hurt us and that is another process. Self love and forgiveness is the goal here and I also feel self-exploration is a positive in this process. Getting to know and love the body all over again before moving on to sharing with someone else. (If you have a mate and need to heal Celibacy should be discussed and hopefully they nourish you during your healing process)

Last but of course not least because being away from a partner for a long period of time can be the most challenging of the three, but with this Celibacy can look a little different. Celibacy can be the same in getting to know yourself and connecting with self intimacy but with this, you can connect with your mate as well. Taking that built up energy and sending it to your love through phone conversations, letters and face to face time if able. So no need to be completely celibate even if it is limited time with your honey, because self-intimacy can turn into sending sensual energy to that other person and believe me the connection is real. Now this doesn’t mean that just because you have a mate to send love to that you don’t need self healing as well. I feel it is definitely is needed due to the sadness created from missing the other person loving self should be added to your to do list for sure. This will release some anger, anxiety and depression that you do not want to give to your mate during the short time that you do have to connect.

So yes…yes…yes this was an extensive but short description on what I feel about celibacy. If you need practices to get through these times maybe I can help. So don’t be down on yourself but get down to working on yourself.

Peace and Love


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Who are you submitting to


First I have to say I am not an expert on BDSM and do not live the BDSM lifestyle fulltime and haven’t in almost 10yrs when I was a sub to my Daddy. This wasn’t really like a 50 shades of grey experience I don’t feel truly Im not sure…. I didn’t see the movie only the spoof with Marlon Wayans in it. Hilarious! Well my story was I was a weak little girl that needed Daddy to take care of her. Daddy took good care of me and I performed his every sexual sensual desire. This was a process that worked for me bonded collared where I knew I was safe and never would be deserted. A feeling of security with an expansion of sexual sensual education. The cleanest way I can describe it if we are wanting to be clean. Lol

So this leads me into a few reasons that people desire a BDSM sub relationship.

1 a feeling of needing security

2 a need to feel like someone else is in charge because of a demanding dominant job…manager CEO etc.

3. And just the good old fashion love of pain and restraint. (Desire to be disciplined)

Me I I think when Im involved in a submissive experience its all 3 of these on any given day. Also, a dominant sub relationship can be unhealthy when people are living in a victim victimizing place. This usually won’t last forever mental, emotional and or physical abuse eventually transforms with it without universal consent. It lasts just as long as a couple is stuck in the growth process pain and strain leads to growth usually if not it leads to trauma. This being said BDSM is a healing energy well in my eyes anyway. So who are you open to submitting to?

Don’t forget to enter the BDSM contest to win the prize pack. Sexy is empowering and doing it together is growth talk to you soon.

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Tantric Relationships

I recently spoke briefly on the pain and drama I endured in past relationships and how I worked towards healing myself. Now I know the reason I went through what I went through because of 1st the capability to be able to come out of each situation and still continue to spread positive energy with a story to tell. The Divine doesn’t put anything on you can’t carry and conquer! Another reason was because what I had to offer each person I was with. I was doing tantra even in the years I knew nothing of tantra…now of course looking at my previous posts I did not know how to stay strong and flourish in those situations which caused difficult times for me, but I was doing spiritual work all the same. I enjoy laughing, chatting, dancing, politicn and motivating people it feels wonderful. I probably should have been an actress long time ago at least in theater that is. Haha nah…. Let’s go a little deeper into this…So who ever I was with man, woman or just close friends I offered this tantra that would vibrate the moment and we would dance spiritually for as long as the Divine saw fit. The relationship would go on to the point where there wasn’t an open door for change. Where either me or the other person couldn’t or wouldn’t evolve any further. At this point then it was time to move on. Evolution does cause some discomfort sometimes even pain so of course most people don’t like that ish lol So if what I showed or how I pushed wasn’t understood or accepted they would become upset with me and that would cause arguments. Some also would become distant and not just distant to pounder and return but distant in a way that I would be pushed away. Now of course you know these reactions don’t work well for happy relationships. So eventually we started to dislike one another and then what we built comes tumbling down.

OK Ok just so you don’t think I was this O so conscious guru haha I was not it’s just something that just happens I push people’s limits as well as motivate them and in the mean time give them sweet delicious intimacy(not always sexual by the way so get your head out of the clouds lol). Now of course relationships are a two way street in evolution so I was getting class time too sometimes my teachers were real sweet and sometimes they were treacherous either way it went I had something to learn too. Some I learned a lot from right then and some not till years later. All this to say every single one of us are tantra teachers by nature just because truth is every relationship is for our spiritual growth. …now the question is are we going to get the lessons or not, but that’s a whole nutter story.

OK  so before I close this blog out let’s talk about tantra a bit which I altered the term to best fit me my her story and the work I do. I now call it sensual awakening sensual – not just related to sexual activity but has to do with your 6+ senses the five that we all know so well; 

•sight (using our ocular vision) 





And then there is our 6 sense being able to go beyond just the basic senses and “feel” instead of just touch… “view” instead of just see and so on. So sensual awakening to me is using these senses for you and others evolution…and becoming aware of the process so you can practice intentionally to help others. This is me elaborating on my connections with people and of course it wasn’t just “danger danger will robinson” No not at all it was growth.Hey had so much fun sharing today if you have something you have been through man O man I probably have too. Lol so please drop me a line and I will tell my story.